Toxic Workplaces Don’t Always Shout – Sometimes They Whisper

Recognising the Subtle Signs of Discrimination – and How to Speak Up

When we think of a toxic workplace, we often imagine outright bullying, loud arguments, or aggressive leadership. But in reality, many toxic environments operate in much subtler – yet equally harmful – ways.

At Speak Up Now UK, we often hear from people who’ve been made to feel “too sensitive” or “paranoid” for noticing what’s really happening around them. Discrimination doesn’t always announce itself. It can hide behind jokes, polite smiles, and corporate jargon.

Let’s break down some of the less obvious toxic workplace themes we regularly encounter – and how you can find the courage to challenge them.

1. Microaggressions Are Still Aggressions

These are subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviours that communicate bias or prejudice. They may seem small, but they accumulate – slowly chipping away at confidence and psychological safety.

Examples:

• "You’re so articulate – where are you really from?"

• Interrupting or speaking over women in meetings

• "You don’t look gay"

These may be brushed off as “curiosity” or casual remarks, but they reinforce stereotypes and make people feel like outsiders.

2. ‘Jokes’ That Reinforce Harm

Humour can be a powerful bonding tool, but when it's used to mock or marginalise, it becomes a weapon.

You might hear:

• Racist, sexist, or homophobic "banter"

• Stereotype-driven nicknames

• Offensive memes shared in WhatsApp groups

The usual defence? “It’s just a joke.” But here’s the truth: If it degrades someone’s identity, it’s not funny – it’s toxic.

3. Invisible Exclusion

Not all discrimination is loud. Sometimes, it looks like being routinely overlooked or left out – without any explanation.

Signs of exclusion:

• Not being invited to key meetings or social events

• Not being asked for input, despite experience or expertise

• Being ignored in email threads or group chats

This kind of exclusion can be deeply isolating, especially for those from marginalised backgrounds who already feel the need to prove themselves.

4. Tone Policing & Gaslighting

One of the most frustrating toxic behaviours is being made to doubt your own reactions.

You might hear:

• “You’re overreacting.”

• “You’re being too emotional.”

• “You need to be more professional about this.”

This is tone policing – a tactic often used to silence people, especially women, LGBTQ+ individuals, and people of colour. When you're made to feel that how you say something is more important than what you're saying, it's a way of minimising valid concerns.

5. Double Standards in Performance Expectations

Many workplaces claim to champion equality, but apply their standards unequally. This is often subtle, but noticeable over time.

Examples:

• Men praised as "assertive," while women are called "bossy"

• LGBTQ+ employees being told to “tone it down” at work

• Racialised staff having their mistakes scrutinised more harshly than others

If you're constantly being asked to go above and beyond just to be seen as “equal,” that's a red flag.

So… How Can You Speak Up?

We know that challenging these behaviours isn’t easy. It takes courage – and support. Here are some steps to help:

🧾 1. Document Everything

Keep a private, dated record of incidents. Include what happened, when, and who was involved. This is crucial if you decide to report it later.

🧍‍♀️ 2. Find Allies

Talk to trusted colleagues. Chances are, you’re not the only one who’s noticed. Speaking collectively can carry more weight.

📚 3. Know Your Rights

In the UK, you're legally protected against discrimination under the Equality Act 2010. Understanding your rights can help you speak up with confidence.

📣 4. Use Safe Reporting Channels

That’s where we come in. Speak UP Now UK exists to support people like you – with confidential, secure, and supportive whistleblowing processes.

Final Thoughts

If any of this sounds familiar, know this:

You are not overreacting. You are not alone. And you deserve better.

A toxic workplace doesn’t have to scream. It can wear a smile, deliver praise, or claim it’s "just joking" – while causing real, lasting harm. Recognising the signs is the first step toward making change.